Just keep writing. . .

With the various household crises on temporary hiatus, and my ‘6 weeks till Disney’ hysteria having peaked two days ago (‘5 weeks till Disney’ hysteria starting tomorrow), my attention has turned back to the epic saga that is editing my novel.

To use the word editing is probably something of a understatement.  True, some chapters only needed a little bit of work, but others have been completely rewritten and entirely new sections have been added. 

There have been times when, much like my main character Amelia, I’ve held my head in my hands and thought ‘I can’t do this.’  I worry that I’m butchering my own work beyond recognition, and that I’m obsessing about every little piece of writing advice that streams through my Twitter feed.  Most of all I worry that I’m never going to finish. 

The hardest part of the process has been deciding what to let go.  I’m trying to achieve a balance between telling the story and letting it tell itself, and that means sacrificing some of parts that have been floating around in my mind since the beginning.  Part of the reason I started this novel was that for the first time in a long time I had a beginning, a middle and an end, and I couldn’t wait to start writing it.  But the finished product was too long and, in parts, too slow, and some of it had to go. 

It’s at that point where the work begins to change, and I started to wonder if it would ever be what I’d imagined.  Slowly but surely, though, it’s starting to take shape again.  I’m sticking to a schedule, working out a routine and in hopefully only another few weeks work it should be complete.  Of course now I’ve gone and said that. . .

To get there though, I’ve had to take a drastic but necessary step – IGNORE THE ADVICE.  The internet is home to a wealth of information for new writers; prompts and hints and tips all appearing directly in my Twitter timeline, helping and guiding, but distracting.  Much of it is valuable advice, but right now I have to focus on what I want this book to be.  After all, if I end up with a story I don’t like, what’s the point?

So it’s on with the cuts and rewrites towards the next, even scarier stage – the test reader!

What Does Happen In Hayden?

I promised I would eventually share the meaning behind the title of my blog - what does happen in Hayden? The simple answer is everything, at least as far as my writing is concerned.  Hayden is the fictional home of Amelia Morgan, whose charmed life is about to fall spectacularly apart. . .

    How many times had she thought about this moment?  Death came to everyone. This much, at least, she’d known.  The last few months – now almost certainly the last of her life – had taught her the breathtaking speed with which a life could end unexpectedly.  Even so, had she really ever contemplated how quickly she would lose her own?  Maybe she had.  But it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

    It would be over soon.  How, she wasn’t sure yet, and she wasn’t ready to dwell on it and let the fear consume her.  She didn’t want to hear herself hope that it wouldn’t hurt.  And she wouldn’t think of the other one, the one already gone.  The one she feared, more than she feared anything else, had taken her place.

    She shifted stiffly, her legs sliding on the polished floor.  Even the tiniest movement took most of her strength.  She barely noticed now the thick, damp warmth pooling around her cheek as it lay flat against the floor, or the sharp twist in her skin, pulled tight by the ropes that bound her wrists.  At least she imagined ropes, wound around and knotted neatly, just like she saw in the movies.  There was really no way to tell what had happened when she’d closed her eyes. 

    Her legs were free.  They lay limp and heavy on the ground, dull weight that seemed to serve no more purpose now than to tether her to the earth, but they remained unbound.  She heard a voice, telling her that was important, that it was something overlooked.  The voice was telling her to get up.  She didn’t.

    This was how it was supposed to end. 

    And now, at last, it was clear to her where it had started. 

She has always been the one telling the story, the one who decides which character lives and which character dies.  For the first time in her life, she's caught in a story she can't control.

Amelia's story does have a title, and one that's likely to change more than once, which is the reason I haven't shared it.  The process of writing this novel has taken almost as many twists and turns as the story itself, probably more, and it has suffered more than once from own crisis of faith in its merit. 

There's a tiny part of me that wants to keep it hidden away from sight, with only me to worry how it all ends, but a book is meant to be read, isn't it?  So amidst all the countdowns to Disney (7 weeks tomorrow, in case you're wondering) and complaints about movie remakes, I would also like to share more about Amelia and the characters that populate her world. 

I hope you like it (and any feedback left in the comments section is both valued and appreciated!)